Winged Salvation
by Beautiful Midnight
Summary: When Clow creates an angel named Yue, he never expects that he'll return the love that Yue professes to him.. but when Clow dies, what should a heartbroken angel do?
1. The Beginning (Clow Reed)

It was not to test the extent of my powers.. not in the least... I had already created Rubi Muun and Spinel Sun to be the guardians of the sun.. and moon. .to balance out the scales, if you will.. I needed two more .. Keroberos was one.. A winged lion.. strong.. fierce.. loyal.. just one more. I decided to capture the beauty of the full moon in the night sky in the last guardian, whom I had decided to name Yue.. after the moon itself The night on which Yue was created, the moon was full and bright, and even though it was raining, I found Keroberos sitting on the front lawn. When I asked him what he was doing, he merely said he was waiting for Yue.. I could only smile and stroke the cat's head before going to my study. Creating Yue would prove to be a bit more difficult than the other three.. for there would have to be that ultimate beauty within the creature that wasn't there before.. but I had no idea.. no idea whatsoever what I was about to create.. it would be my greatest masterpiece.. and my greatest weakness.  
  
  
As I was creating his life force, I saw the form of Yue through the light of the magic and nearly stopped in mid-spell, which would've been disastrous, but I kept my composure and waited until I saw the winged figure collapse against the ground that I stopped and ran to him, kneeling and drawing the being into my arms. He began to open his eyes, and as he did, I knew that I had created the full beauty of the moon. Yue's head tilted to the side as he looked at me silently. "Hello.." He said softly. I smiled.  
"Hello, Yue.."  
"M..master?" His eyes sought mine and for an instant, my heart stopped.   
"Yes.. I.. I am your master... Clow Reed." I was stammering.. never before had that happened to me.. one of the greatest, most powerful sorcerers in existence, stammering over a creature such as this.. I have a feeling that any of the other sorcerers would've been tripping over themselves as well. Like a child, I ran a hand along Yue's wings and saw him shiver, and I remembered that Rubi's wings had been very sensitive at first as well. I apologized, but remembered something else.. Yue had been created to be without emotion.. then again.. so had Rubi.. and her favorite game was toying with my servants..and that required emotion in the highest sense.. happiness.. cynicism.. was insanity considered an emotion?  
  
Yue sat up weakly, and I watched him with curious eyes, waiting to see if he would be everything I had hoped he would be.. His eyes found mine again.. blue as the ocean.. I had only been to the ocean once, but anyone, even those who had never seen the ocean would've agreed.. another thing about Yue's eyes was the total innocence I found there.. naiveté, if you will. He didn't know hatred, greed, pain... and I hoped, as pathetic as it was, that he never would feel those things..   
  
Keroberos padded into the room and practically tackled Yue off of the desk, and I chuckled softly to myself. "Keroberos.. this is Yue."  
"Konyanichiyawa, Yue-san!" He looked strangely child-like in a way.. after seeing Spinel Sun and Rubi bickering like brother and sister for so long, I suppose for him, this was like Christmas.   
"H..hello.." Yue looked at him nervously, and then to me, as if to make sure this was a -safe-, winged lion.   
"Yue, this is your..." I stopped, blinking, and then saw Keroberos look towards me as well. "This is your brother, Keroberos." They looked to each other and both smiled.   
"You wanna go get some pudding?" Keroberos hopped off the desk.  
"Pudding?"  
It seemed that already, they shared a common bond.   
From that moment, they were inseparable, and loyal not only to each other, but me as well.. they both knew of the power they held, the great magic within them, but were content not using it.. to enjoy their "childhood". I hoped they wouldn't need their magic while I still lived.. for it was after I was no longer there to protect them that they would truly need it. 


	2. 2

Yue woke up and stretched his wings, still looking at them with an avid curiosity, like a small child discovering a new toy. He had spent the last few days being shown around by his oniichan, Keroberos, and being taught about all the different types of desserts. However, when the huge cat jumped onto the bed, Yue couldn't help but emit a small sound of surprise mingled with fear.   
"Ohayo, Yue-san!" Keroberos shouted happily. "Come on! The sun's up!" For reasons that Yue couldn't explain, Keroberos always seemed happier; stronger when the sun was up.. the same way he himself felt about the moon.   
"N.. nani?" He yawned, struggling to get his legs out from the weight that was crushing him into the soft bed, the blankets somewhat tangled around his slender, pale figure. Keroberos clamped his teeth around Yue's robes, yanking lightly, but not hard enough to cause the silky fabric to tear. "I can't get up until you get off of me.."  
"Gomen!" Keroberos hopped back off of the bed, waiting for Yue, practically jumping up and down in anticipation. Slowly, Yue stood up out of bed, looking back at his long silver mane tied at the back of him. "Hurry up, Yue!" Keroberos ran into the hallway, skidding on the floor as Yue followed along slowly, his bare feet cool against the wooden floor. As he passed the library, however, he caught a glimpse of Clow and hesitated before knocking lightly on the door. Clow looked up, smiling.  
"Good morning, Yue."  
"A..am I disturbing you, master?"  
"Of course not."   
There was an awkward silence between the two until Clow waved him in. "I suppose I should show you what you will be guarding." He pointed to a small creature that closely resembled a rabbit. "The Dash." He smiled and pointed a staff towards it. The creature disappeared and in its place was a card. "These are a new type of magic.."  
"Did you make these?" Yue stared in awe, picking up the card, noticing some Chinese characters on the bottom. Clow nodded, smiling at Yue, the pale blue eyes drawing him closer against his will. He stood up and lightly ran a hand through Yue's hair. Yue looked up, tilting his head, and Clow was about to move forward when Keroberos ran in.  
"Yue, come on!" He blinked. "Oh.. Gomen nesai, master." He lowered his head respectfully. Clow smiled and scratched behind the large cat's ears.   
"It's all right, Keroberos.. Where were you two going today?"  
Keroberos purred throatily and nuzzled his head against Clow's hand affectionately. "Kitchen." He murmured happily. Clow and Yue rolled their eyes in unison.  
"Well, have fun." He looked at Yue, barely restraining himself. Yue nodded and followed Keroberos out of the room  
  
  
  
*  
  
I couldn't believe the way I was feeling about this creature; my creation.. was it lust? Love? Was there such a thing, and could it exist between a master and his guardian? I wasn't sure.. the cards would take my mind off of Yue, but only barely. I couldn't stop thinking about those wings brushing against my skin, those eyes boring into my soul, about kissing those soft, pale lips..but I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I?  
  
Yue and Keroberos seemed to be as close as brothers, maybe even closer. Yue hadn't yet met Rubi or Spinel Sun, and I was nervous as to how he would react.. Rubi had taken Spinel to the village on the day Yue was 'born', and she hadn't returned yet. The two were so different, as night and day, ironically enough.. yet they were two halves to the same stone.. just as Keroberos and Spinel sun were. Yet, I didn't have any of the feelings for them that I had for Yue.. they were like my children.. Yue was something more.. friend.. companion.. lover.. all the things he would never be.. 


	3. 3

The sun peaked over the hills and sent waves of crimson across the awakening sky, and the beautiful silence was suddenly broken by a happy cry of "SUUUGGAAAAR!! MORE SUGAR!!", a flying black panther shooting into view, followed by a frustrated looking crimson-haired woman. Clow looked up from his study, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose, watching Spinel Sun shoot past the window, still yelling "SUGAR!". 'Well.. Yue had to meet them eventually..' Clow thought to himself with a deep sigh.  
  
"Well, well.. who's this?" Rubi paused in front of Yue's window, watching the angel sleeping, raising an eyebrow, she stepped into the room and smirked. "Clow must've gotten lazy.." Yue mumbled sleepily and opened one eye, yelping in surprise, sitting up straight in bed. "Well, good morning, angel boy.. "  
"Who.. who are you?" Yue stammered. Rubi giggled.  
"I'm your other half, beautiful.." She ran a finger down Yue's chest. "The other Moon guardian.." Yue shivered and gasped sharply as he felt Rubi grab onto his wings, struggling to squirm out of the grasp, hearing a cold laugh from the other guardian as Rubi turned to leave. "What a pleasure to meet you.." She called over her shoulder.   
"What's your name?"   
"Rubi Muun.. you must be Yue.. Clow's done nothing but talk about you for weeks.. how he was going to create absolute beauty..Looks like he succeeded, angel boy." She laughed and walked out of the room, leaving a rather confused angel sitting in the bedroom alone. He stood up, flexing his wings, still shuddering faintly at the touch against his wings; he folded them against his back as if to protect himself from any others. Walking down the stairs, he stopped again in front of Clow's study, looking in.  
"Aren't you going to have something to eat, master?" He asked softly. Clow looked up, feeling a shiver run through his body as he saw Yue standing there, having dreamt of the angel all night.   
"N..not right now, Yue.. Thank you for your concern."   
"Are you working on another card?" Yue walked in, leaning over Clow's chair to look at it with a childlike innocence, reading the name aloud. "The..Flower?"  
"Yes."  
"What does it do?"  
Clow scratched his head sheepishly. "It makes flowers." as if to prove it, he tapped the card with his staff, and a single white rose appeared in Yue's hands. Yue blinked and smelled it, smiling, blushing.   
"Thank you, master.." He held the rose against his cheek, letting the silken petals caress his skin. Clow shuddered and struggled to keep a tight rein on his emotions.   
"Go ahead down and eat, Yue.. I'll be down in a moment." He managed to say, watching Yue leave, he sighed and slammed his fist on the desk. He wouldn't be able to control himself much longer.   
  
*  
  
I couldn't love him.. but I knew that I did. It was wrong, and if I let myself be with him, the line between master and being would be erased; destroyed forever. What would everyone else think, as well? Yue wouldn't respect me if I was his lover..and if he didn't respect me, Keroberos, Spinel and Rubi wouldn't respect me either.. not that Rubi had much respect for anyone.  
  
I knew that I would only hurt Yue in the future, and I wanted to hurt him as little as possible. By keeping him pushed far from me, he would get over it and be content with a new master in the future.. but if we were lovers..he would spend his whole life mourning.. and I couldn't let that happen. It was for his own good. 


	4. 4 - Clow's Monologue

It was getting harder and harder to control myself as I became more accustomed to having Yue around, and vice versa. He was no longer the scared, timid creature he was when I created him, although he didn't seem completely comfortable around Rubi or Spinel.   
  
The cards were helping to keep my mind off of Yue for a little bit of time, but we were, after all, like a family, and families are supposed to spend time together. So while Rubi was off in the village (against my wishes), Yue, Keroberos, Spinel and I sat around the dining room for dinner. It was always amusing watching Keroberos eat; sometimes I would swear he had multiple stomachs. Spinel was the same way, except I made sure not to give him anything with large amounts of sugar in it.. I learned that lesson too late. It took two hours to get him down from the ceiling last time.. Yue was different though. At first glance, one would think he was human, but those beautiful wings, those eyes; they were above and beyond human standards.  
  
The night before the six-month anniversary of Yue's creation, I was sitting in the garden reading, when I saw them coming towards me, and before I could protest, they had sat down on either side of me, Keroberos purring loudly. Upon their request, I started to read aloud the story. It was actually a play, written by an English playwright that I hadn't heard of when I picked up the book in a shop in the village.. William Shakespeare. The play was 'Macbeth', and although I had read it many times before, the excitement was still there for me. As I read it to Yue and Keroberos, I noticed Keroberos falling asleep as Macbeth saw Banquo's ghost and I started to close the book when Yue placed his hand upon mine, looking up at me with wide eyes.  
"Can you keep reading, master? Please?" I stared, transfixed at him for a moment, finally nodding and continuing the story. When at last, the final act was finished and justice had prevailed over evil, my throat ached from speaking for so long. Yue lay his head on my shoulder, yawning, whispering "Thank you..", falling asleep. It was against my better judgement that I drew him into my arms, because it caused the love I was hiding to grow, and I knew that Yue, this being that I was completely, helplessly in love with, would never.. no.. -could- never love me back, and for a moment, I almost hated him for it. But it was not to be. My life would end shortly once I finished my work with the cards. There was no time for love.  
  
My dreams often told the future, and while I occasionally saw a flash of Yue lying in my arms much like he did that night, I had forseen my own death, and I didn't see Yue at my side in the visions. However, as I slept with Keroberos curled at my side and Yue lying in my lap, I saw myself carrying the angel in my arms, his arms wrapped around me as he whispered a confession of his love to me. I woke up still in the garden, staring out at the darkness, nudging Keroberos awake and picking Yue up, carrying him into the house. I felt one arm curling against my shoulder, his face burying itself in my neck. "I love you, Clow-sama.." He whispered, still fast asleep. It was enough that I almost dropped him, but I made it to his bed and lay him in it, sitting in the chair next to his bed, where I would remain for the entire night, until I ended up crying myself to sleep.  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Clow just seems like the kind of guy who would enjoy Shakespeare, and I was re-reading Macbeth for the third time, so I added it in ^_^; Hope you liked the chapter. 


	5. 5

Clow sighed, closing his eyes, trying in a way to remember the way that it felt to have the warmth of another body next to his own. He gently nudged Keroberos' flank, hearing "Mmnn..wai.. pudding!"  
  
"..Wake up, Keroberos."  
  
"Mm.." The tawny creature slowly stood up and stretched, arching his back, looking to Yue. He looked up at Clow as if to see if he should wake his ototo up as well. Clow shook his head.   
  
"Go on to bed. Let him sleep."  
  
"Yes, master." He padded through the grass gently, walking through the back door of the mansion, leaving Clow and Yue alone in the garden. Kneeling down, Clow gently took the lithe body into his arms, feeling Yue's head fall limply against his chest. Clow cradled him for a moment, watching how the moonlight played upon his skin like that. He sighed again, kissing Yue's forehead before beginning the trek inside. As they were in the corridor, Clow felt Yue's arms wrap around him and jumped in shock, but then he noticed that the being was still fast asleep.   
  
"I love you, Clow-sama.." Came a soft whisper from within the pale rose lips, and Clow's knees buckled beneath him. He must've been dreaming.. Yue would never love him. Gently, he lay Yue in the bed, pulling the covers over the angel, running a hand over the folded wings with a sigh. He sank down into a chair near Yue's bed and held his forehead in his hand, tears dripping down onto his lap as he cried softly. He felt like he was going insane, and all because of this creature that he created.. As he cried, sleep overcame him and he stayed, eyes closed, head slumped forward, next to Yue's bedside.  
  
In the morning, Yue yawned and stretched, his eyes staring groggily at the figure beside his bed. His head cocked to one side and gently, he brushed some of Clow's hair out of his face, smiling a little, a wistful look in his eyes. "Mmnn...Yue.." Clow murmured in his sleep, causing the angel to take a step back, blinking.   
  
"Master.. are you awake?" He asked softly, wings fluttering ever-so-slightly. Was it possible that the great sorcerer Clow Reed loved him? No. Never. Clow would never love him..How could you love someone that wasn't even human? Yue sighed, brushing his lips across Clow's cheek, his voice barely audible in Clow's ear. "I love you." He stood, tying his robes and brushing back his long platinum hair, tying it back in the ponytail he usually wore it in, looking at himself in the mirror with slight critism. He didn't know why everyone made such a big deal. He wasn't beautiful..not very much, anyway..A shy smile stole his face as he admired himself in the mirror slightly.  
  
"You're beautiful."   
  
Yue gasped and turned around, seeing his master's eyes upon him intently. "I.. master.."  
  
"I heard you last night, Yue.." With a slight grunt, Clow pulled himself out of the chair, feeling his spine snap back into place, and he made a mental note never to sleep in that position again. "Is it true?" He strode to where the angel was, watching a tremble run through the soft white feathers of Yue's wings. Clow smirked faintly, holding Yue's chin in his hand, tilting his face upwards. "Iie.. but you will never be mine, beautiful creature... Don't forget that I am the master.."  
  
Yue turned his eyes downward. "Yes, master." He murmured. "I'm sorry.." He frowned for a moment. "What do you mean, I will never be yours?"  
  
Clow didn't answer, but he had a matching frown on his lips. "I created you to be without emotion.. yet you speak of love. You mean the love for a being and its master, correct?"  
  
The voice sounded choked in its reply. "No." Yue wrenched himself out of Clow's grip, afraid he would be hit, or worse, be kicked out of Clow Reed's mansion forever, forced to wander the world alone for all eternity. Clow sighed and looked down.  
  
"I never thought it would happen.." He murmured, half to himself. Yue looked up, brow furrowed in confusion.  
  
"What do you mean?" Yue asked, suddenly feeling Clow's arms holding him tightly. Clow smiled and ran his index finger over Yue's lips before kissing them, feeling an onrush of emotion as something between the two connected and for the moment, both felt a feeling of completeness that was never there before. "Master.." Yue stammered, not really sure what was going on. Clow rested his forehead against Yue's with a sigh.  
  
"You will never be mine, will you, Yue?"  
  
"I.. I'd like to be.." He said quietly, his eyes portraying only innocent love. Clow chuckled softly.  
  
"Is that your wish?"  
  
"It is."  
  
"Then so be it." He drew Yue back into his arms and kissed him again, parting his lips against the soft flesh, feeling feathers brush against his cheek as Yue's wings curled around the two of them, his arms wrapped up at Clow's shoulders. Clow smiled faintly as he felt Yue nearly melting in the embrace, and he whispered "watashi no tenshi...I love you.."  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: 


	6. 6 - Yue's Monologue

I didn't ever want to fall asleep again. I was watching Clow-sama read the play aloud and the way his eyes were glinting, and how beautiful he looked, but I didn't want to say anything because it might've ruined the moment.   
  
When I first saw Clow, there was a tiny part of me that hoped he was my lover, even though I wasn't really sure of what love was. I knew that this feeling.. this warmth.. it must've been love. There was no other word for it.. and as much as my naiievety reined over me, I did know -some- things. Sweets were good, love was even more wonderful (although, according to niisan, nothing was better than sweets.. Spinel held a slightly different opinion... I'm not sure why.)  
  
So when I found myself in his arms, I thought I was surely dreaming, because there's no way Clow could love me. There's the love between a master and a ..well.. servant, guardian.. whatever you shall call me. It was only because of this, which I thought was a dream, that I confessed my love.. and if I would've known that I was awake, I surely would've hit myself.  
  
In my mind's eye, I could've sworn that I heard Clow crying before I woke up and I wanted to sit in his lap and fall asleep like I did the previous night, but I was terrified; of being cast out; of being rejected, of many things. I wasn't supposed to be scared, or in love.. and I knew that.. yet I think Clow made a mistake in creating us. He may have intended for us, the guardians, not to have any emotions, but.. and I mean this with the fullest respect.. he failed.   
  
I heard him whisper my name and my heart stopped.. but it didn't mean anything since he was asleep, did it? I certainly hoped that it did, but what I hoped didn't matter. When he woke up, he started saying strange things to me like 'You will never be mine, will you Yue?'. I frowned, not sure why he kept saying it, but I gave him my answer and told him my wish..  
  
If you have never been kissed before, I'm afraid I can't describe it. I told Niisan later that it was better than any sweet that the baker could create, and although he laughed at me, I didn't tell him -who- I kissed. But as Clow whispered 'watashi no tenshi.. I love you'.. as he called me his angel.. I felt something that I had never felt before.  
  
I felt complete. And I never wanted to let that feeling go.. never. 


	7. 7

The village was busy today, with small families picking up the week's groceries, merchants calling out their wares, and children playing around everyone, laughing happily. Through this, people couldn't help but stare at the angel-like creature that was walking next to Clow Reed.   
  
Many of the villagers hadn't even met Clow Reed, not to mention one of his guardians.. So to see him and one of -them- walking together.. It was rumored that Clow was so secretive because he was hideous looking, but judging from the stares that he was receiving from the young women, that rumor was false. What the villagers didn't notice, however, was that Clow Reed and his creation had their fingers twined around each other.  
  
As they exited the post office, Yue had his hands full with other things, a few bags of groceries draped across his arms, a few packages resting in his grip as well. He followed Clow happily, content with the fact that his master was now his lover. A group of sorcerers that Yue immediately didn't like crowded around them.  
  
"What a pretty thing, Reed.."  
  
"Looks like you got yourself a cute plaything."  
  
Clow narrowed his brown eyes. "Jealousy.. ah, the green-eyed monster rears its ugly head again...He is a guardian of mine.. Not a 'plaything' in the least." Clow put extra emphasis on 'plaything', saying it with a sarcastic tone.  
  
"B..but Clow-sama.." Yue stammered. The magicians all smirked and regarded Clow with a quirked brow, all of them smirking. Clow hesitated before turning to glare at Yue.   
  
"Yue, don't forget who is the master here! You will treat me with proper respect!" He snapped. Yue jerked back like he was hit and didn't say anything for a moment, but when he did, his voice was cold and dripping with sarcasm.  
  
"Very well, -master-. I'll see you at your home, -master-." He turned and walked away, hearing one of the other sorcerers chatting about lending Clow a whip to train his servants better. As Yue walked into the house, he set the groceries on the table, ignoring Keroberos for the time being. He walked into the bedroom, not noticing it was Clow's, and he curled himself up in the blankets, too shocked to cry; it felt like something inside him was broken..  
  
Clow sighed as he stepped into the house. "Keroberos.."  
  
"Yes, master?" Keroberos skidded across the floor to be at Clow's side.   
  
"Where is Yue?"  
  
"H...he went upstairs, master." Keroberos bowed slightly and went back into the kitchen. Clow shook his head, walking quietly up the stairs, about to walk into Yue's room before he saw his own door cracked open. Peeking through, he saw the figure in the blankets.  
  
"Yue." The figure jerked, but there was no response. Clow walked over and sat on the bed, speaking softly. "I'm sorry..but.."  
  
"Are you ashamed of me?" Yue asked, his voice muffled by the blankets. Clow frowned.  
  
"Of course not. I.. I told you. You have to remember who the master is..You need to show proper respect to me.. Yue, please.. I still love you.." There was no response, less Yue sitting up and walking silently to Clow's door. Clow stood, walking to him and placing his arm across the doorframe to prevent Yue's exit. "Yue.. if you leave..don't come back in here."  
  
Yue glared up at him, his defiant look masked partially by the tears his eyes were full of. He closed his eyes and whispered. "I understand." Relieved, Clow dropped his arms to embrace the creature, and felt his heart stop as he saw Yue stride past him. He growled and slammed the door, sitting on his bed, staring helplessly at the moon in the night sky.   
  
  
  
  
I didn't know what to do.. I didn't wish to lose the respect of my fellow sorcerers, nor did I want to lose Yue's respect.. I was too afraid, too much of an idiot to allow us to be equals. I didn't ever want to harm Yue, however.  
  
Yes, I loved him.. I loved him with my whole heart, but there was something strange about that. I had never really known love before. I don't remember my father, and my mother was somewhat distant towards me most times.  
  
Respect was something I wanted to hold onto desperately..power was another thing.. but then again..so was love. 


	8. 8 - Yue's Monologue/Clow Reed's Monologu...

It could not have hurt me more if he had struck me there in the village.. The way he was acting stung more than a thousand knives. What made it worse is that I couldn't tell anyone. How do you tell someone that your master was also your lover and it was because of him that you were in pain.. I was better off dead, I surmise.  
  
In a way, it was good that I didn't need to eat to survive, because I lost all desire to do so completely; I spent all my time either in my chambers or up on the roof of the house.. Some part of me wished that he would come up and beg me to go back to him, but he never appeared on the roof next to me. Niisan did, for a while, but he gave up. Spinel or Rubi never bothered to try.   
  
Sometimes I had wondered if I had simply fallen into a trap that Cl--..master had set for me, like a cat plays with a half-dead, terrified mouse. Was I the mouse in Clow Reed's trap? Maybe he was in love with Rubi.. she was pretty.. he seemed to be more fond of her at times. I didn't know what to think any more.. everything just hurt so much.   
  
I would catch him at the window of his study and stare at him, and every time it hurt a little more because I knew.. I -knew- that I loved him. Maybe this is what everyone calls 'heartbreak'. I wasn't aware I had a heart to break, but it was obvious to me after Clow hurt me. All I wanted to do was to be his, forever.. but it wasn't meant to be...  
  
  
  
*  
  
  
I felt terrible for pushing Yue away, but he had completely shut himself off from everyone, including Keroberos.. The two were extremely close, it worried me that he would push Keroberos away like he did. I would walk to my study and stare out the window, hoping, praying for a glance of my angel amidst the moonlight.   
  
Near every night, I cried while I worked on the cards, if only for a moment. I missed having Yue around; the house seemed more somber without his presence, and there was a pain in my chest that was doubling in strength every night Yue was gone.   
  
One night, I was walking from my study to my bedroom after a particularly long time working on the cards and the pain grew too worse to bear, even for someone of my power. The room darkened and I remember falling to the ground.. but everything after that... it's all a blur.  
  
*  
  
I saw the lights to Clow's study darken, but through them, I saw his figure slump. My heart stopped, and I couldn't get there as fast as I would've liked, but I certainly hurried. I kneeled next to him and held him in my arms, desperately trying to get him to stand. The tears were forcing their way down my cheeks again as I whispered his name. "Clow-sama?"  
  
His eyes opened and looked at me, and for a moment, I thought he would be mad at me..but he smiled. "Yue.." He whispered before closing his eyes. This time, it was my turn to sit by his bedside crying for the duration of the night. I would not leave his side until I knew for sure that he was all right. Nothing could take me from him at that moment. Not even death. For no matter what happened between us as lovers, I was his guardian..and nothing would change that. 


	9. 9

It was another busy day in the village, and one tidbit of news spread through groups of people like fresh strawberry jam on warm toast. Clow Reed, the famous sorcerer.. was dying. The village doctor, Simon Doucette, heard this and immediately set out for the mansion.. after all, when a rich person was dying, they would sometimes pay large sums of money for a miracle cure to save them. He was greeted by the sight of a large winged black panther sunning itself on the front lawn but wasn't very surprised. He had heard stories about the strange creatures Clow had created to guard himself.   
  
As he knocked on the door, however, he was surprised to come face to face with one of the most beautiful creatures he had ever laid his eyes on. Taking a step back, he continued to stare at the angel standing there.  
  
"The doctor.." Yue murmured quietly, nodding once and stepping to the side to allow the man inside. Doucette nodded and walked into the mansion, wordlessly following Yue. Like a child, he involuntarily reached up and tugged on Yue's wing, almost to make sure it was real. Yue jerked, a small jolt of pain shooting through his upper body, and he turned, folding his wings against his back with a look of disapproval.   
  
"Sorry.." He stammered, fixing his glasses and looking into the bedroom where Clow was sleeping.. So, this was the sorcerer Clow Reed.. the powerful sorcerer Clow Reed.. Doucette couldn't help but chuckle inwardly. You weren't so powerful now, were you Reed? Having been born into a poor family whose mother worked as a housekeeper for a rich sorcerer, Doucette harbored deep-seated contempt towards the rich and powerful... although, around the angel who was sitting near the bed now, it was hard to feel anything but peace. He walked to the bed and took his eyes off of Yue for a moment, he set his bag on the bedside and started his examination.  
  
Yue closed his eyes, sitting in the large chair by the bed where he had spent his days since Clow had taken ill. Keroberos usually came to keep him company, and although he was upset over his master's sickness, he wasn't sure why Yue was brooding over this so. He didn't understand that Yue blamed himself for the whole mess. If he had only kept quiet about the incident in the village before, Clow wouldn't have gotten sick.. If he had never confessed that he was in love with his master, none of this would've happened. The doctor's voice caused him to look up and watch the man pack away the medical equipment.  
  
"He should be fine." Doucette said, bowing slightly to the angel. "He just needs to rest.. something was a big shock to his heart.. give it a few days and make him take it easy... he's not a young man anymore." He gave Yue a kind smile, not seeing the tears welling up in the being's eyes.  
  
"Thank you." Keroberos said, nudging Yue's leg, causing Yue to nearly fall forward, he cleared his throat.  
  
"Yes, thank you.." Yue said softly, placing a small handful of gold coins in Doucette's palm; much more than the man would've charged. "It .. it means very much to us that he is well." Doucette hesitated, almost feeling bad about taking the money, but it was money and he needed to eat.   
  
"Y..you're welcome." Looking into Yue's eyes, he now saw the tears forming there, and he wondered if the other rumors were true.. if this angel was Clow's lover.. It would make sense, really. Why else would a guardian cry over something simple like an illness to his master unless love was involved? "You should get some rest as well. Have a good day, and call if his condition worsens." With that, he left, looking to the black panther purring contenedly in a patch of sun-warmed grass. "How would one live in a house like that.." He said to himself, shaking his head and walking off the property, the gold coins jingling merrily in his pocket.  
  
  
"There, Yue. Master will be fine.. come on, you've hardly eaten."  
  
"I don't need to eat, Niisan.. I'm staying here until I'm sure he's all right." Yue pushed the chair right up to the bedside and took Clow's hand in his own, frowning. Keroberos sighed.   
  
"I'll bring you something to eat." He said stubbornly, walking out of the room. Yue closed his eyes and let the tears flow freely.   
  
"Clow-sama.. it's all my fault.." He cried softly, getting up from the chair and curling up next to Clow's sleeping body, burying his face on the man's chest, desperately needing to hear that soft heartbeat, just to prove that his worst fears hadn't come true. The quiet thumping beneath his ear brought on a fresh wave of quiet sobbing.. This 'love' creation.. did it always bring so much pain? "I'm sorry..."  
  
It felt like he was climbing out of a dark hole to which there was no end, but somehow, he heard Yue's voice. "Yue.." He whispered, his eyelids twitching as he struggled to wake up. 'I'm sorry..' He heard, and his mind reeled. 'Sorry... what would you be sorry for, my angel?' He thought to himself, finally opening his eyes, seeing Yue sitting over him, wide-eyed.  
  
"Clow?" Yue whispered, his wings shielding their faces from the view of the open door. Clow smiled, already forgetting about the meaningless fight they had.. it seemed so stupid now..to fight over something like that..especially when he had nearly died.  
  
"What are you sorry for?" His voice was only a whisper now, unlike the confident voice Yue was used to hearing.  
  
"It.. it's my fault you're ill.. the doctor said that it was a problem with your heart, and-"  
  
"Shh.. my illness is no one's fault but my own." Weakly, Clow lifted a hand up to wipe away Yue's tears. "Don't cry, my angel.."   
  
If Yue's wings hadn't been there, then Keroberos would've seen the soft kiss shared between the two on the bed, and he would've been shocked and confused, possibly even angry that neither of them had bothered to tell him, but he only heard Yue's quiet crying and Clow's whispered assurances that everything was fine..yet he did hear something that confused him.  
  
"I love you, Yue.."  
  
"Ai.. aishiteru, Clow-sama.."  
  
He paused near the bed, blinking.. well, wasn't it normal for masters and guardians to love each other? After all, they were just one big family.. He set the plate of food on the floor and hopped on the bed, purring throatily as he nuzzled Clow's cheek affectionately, happily oblivious to whatever was going on between Yue and Clow. His master was alive and Yue was finally going to stop crying. Everything was fine. Nothing out of the unusual. 


	10. 10- Yue's Monologue

For the next few days, I stayed as close to Clow as I possibly could. I was so afraid of losing him again, and I thought maybe if I was nearby, he wouldn't be hurt. Clow said that he'd be fine with me around for a different reason, and it took me a moment to realize that he was talking about love.   
  
I liked love. It was fun and happy and warm all at once. Warm enough to keep me from shivering now that the weather had gotten colder.. It seemed like it was summer outside when I was lying in Clow's arms at night. That's what he asked me to call him. Whenever I called him 'master', it was like I slapped him.. I wasn't sure why, but it wasn't something that he talked about willingly.  
  
A little while after Clow started his recovery, I went outside to get some fresh air and suddenly, these white fluffy things started falling from the sky, but they weren't rain. They were cold, and as I went to touch one, it melted on my skin. I went back into the house quickly, where Clow was still sitting up in bed. I dove into his arms, shivering.  
  
"Angel, what's wrong?" He asked, frowning. I quickly relayed the situation, and Clow started to laugh. It was strange..but I don't recall hearing him laugh before. "Yue.. that's just snow. Come on." He kissed my forehead and stood up, wearing only his robe. Quickly, I scrambled in his closet for warm clothes, lest he should catch a cold. The last thing I wanted was for Clow to get sick on my behalf.   
  
I heard Niisan yell "SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!" and the sound of paws skidding across hardwood floor. Apparently he knew what this snow business was. I was the only one left in the dark. I followed Clow outside and tentively dipped my bare toe in the snow, shivering.  
  
"It's cold." I whined. Clow walked into the snow, grinning. While I watched in confusion, he bent down and picked some of it up, balling it. Before I could run out of the way, he had thrown it at me. It landed square in my chest, and I almost fell back, eyes wide. "Wh.." After I realized that it wasn't a fatal wound, I wasn't so angry. Clow ran off, laughing, and I narrowed my eyes, reaching down and making a snowball, winging it at him.. However, niisan had gotten in the way. It hit the side of his head with a large 'splat', and the mere sight caused me to nearly collapse into laughter. He sputtered and started to chase me, and next thing I knew, I was face down in the snow. Clow was laughing and he looked healthier than he had for quite some time. I looked up at him and smiled in spite of the fact that my robes were practically transparent and my skin was turning a faint blue color. Clow helped me up and wrapped his dress robe around my shoulders, helping me inside. Keroberos continued to run and jump in the snow, catching the snowflakes on his tongue.   
  
I wasn't sure if i liked snow yet.. although having some thrown at me and then being immersed in it, I couldn't make proper judgement.I followed Clow into his bedroom and watched as he used one of the cards to light the fire in the fireplace. He sat down and patted the ground next to him, and obediently, I sat down.  
  
What started as gentle kissing and caressing turned into something more forceful. I wasn't sure if it was passion or just lust, but whatever it was led to us making love in front of the fireplace, and the most incredible feeling I had ever experienced.   
  
I was in love with Clow Reed. And it was beyond anything I had ever known to feel that he loved me in return. It was a heaven that I would cling to for nearly every day of my immortal life, my waking and dreaming hours. I would have given anything to keep that feeling.. but I suppose it wasn't meant to be. 


	11. 11

Keroberos peeked quietly into Clow's room, his paws moving silently across the floor. He blinked and saw a white feather on the ground, looking around for Yue. "Hello?" He whispered. There was no response. He walked up to the bed and yanked the blankets back a bit, his fur standing on end at what he saw..  
  
Clow Reed..his master, in bed with..Yue. And they were both nude. A small wave of nausea rose in the being's stomach, and he quickly ran out of the room, breathing heavily. There had to be some kind of explination for this.. Masters and their guardians didn't sleep sans clothing with each other.. it just didn't happen..  
  
He began to pace the length of the hallway, tossing an occasional glance to the window, or to Clow's door, waiting for the two inside to awaken. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the door opened, and Keroberos tensed, about to yell at Yue, but Clow Reed exited instead. He tilted his head.  
  
"What are you doing up, Keroberos?"  
  
Keroberos' wings drooped. There was no way he could yell at his master the way he would yell at Yue. "I..nothing, master. Just walking around the house."  
  
"Couldn't sleep?" He scratched behind the lion's ears, causing Keroberos to purr instinctively before pulling away slightly.  
  
"Have -you- been sleeping well, master?" There was a tone there that he hadn't really meant to use, almost sardonically. Clow paled a few shades.  
  
"Why do you ask?"  
  
"I worry about you master, you work too hard."  
  
Clow shook his head to clear himself of that thought. He must've imagined that cruel tone.. there's no way Keroberos could've found out. "Yes, of course." He smiled weakly and patted Keroberos' head. "I'll be in my study if you need me."  
  
"Yes, master." Keroberos bowed his head and looked back to the door, nudging it open with his nose and stepping inside. He gently shut the door with his paw and padded to the bed again, hopping up onto the blankets and sitting there, giving Yue a smouldering glare, almost shaking.  
  
Yue yawned and tilted his head away from the pillow. "Nn.. Clow-sama?" He murmured, smiling in his sleep. Keroberos pulled away like he were slapped and put a paw on Yue's chest to wake him. Yue's eyelids twitched and soon, the blue orbs, laden with sleep stared groggily up at him. "..Keroberos?" He muttered, blinking, then yelped and pulled the blanket up to cover himself.  
  
"How long has this been going on, Yue?" Keroberos' tone was an angry one, and Yue's eyes widened at it.  
  
"I...how long has what been going on?" He asked innocently.  
  
"You and Clow Reed...don't you care what everyone else says?! You're going to disgrace our master."  
  
"Niisan.." Yue looked down. "I'm sorry.. I just..I thought you'd be angry."  
  
"Is that why you didn't tell me?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"So you didn't trust me."  
  
"That's not it." He gave Keroberos a pleading gaze and sat up, but Keroberos had already hopped off the bed and started to leave the room. "Niisan.. I love him."  
  
"You don't know what love is, Yue."  
  
"Yes I do." He said quietly. "It's the most wonderful thing in the world. And..I.. I don't want to give it up."  
  
Keroberos sighed and lowered his head, closing his eyes. He had never heard of such a thing..he loved Yue, but like a brother. He didn't know about Yue and Clow being -in- love. "Don't give it up on account of me, Yue." He muttered, half to himself. Yue pulled his robes on and crawled out of the bed, kneeling next to him.  
  
"Are you mad at me, niisan?"  
  
"A little."  
  
"What if I made you a pudding?" He smiled. Keroberos' ear twitched, and he mumbled softly.  
  
"Damnit." He sighed. "Okay, but only if it's got chocolate sauce."  
  
"Deal." Yue smiled brightly and walked out of the room. Keroberos frowned and watched him.. He had never seen Yue this happy before.. maybe he really was in love with Clow. But it didn't take the skills of a fortuneteller like Clow for him to know that it wouldn't last too much longer.. Clow was mortal, and it would soon be time for him to go..  
  
  
  
*  
  
  
Yue told me later that Keroberos had found out, and it was a strange feeling to have relief and dread wash over me at the same time. He assured me, however, that Keroberos wasn't angry, and that he understood, and it was some consolation. Rubi and Spinel had been sealed away in a seperate area from the book that Yue and Keroberos would sleep in.. "I" would need Rubi and Spinel later on. Yue seemed to sense something about the book, and as he traced his fingers across the moon on the back cover, he looked at me,and I could tell from the look of betrayal in his eyes, he didn't like it. I pulled him into my lap.  
  
"Yue.. you can't stay here by yourself after I'm gone."  
  
"Then don't go." He whimpered. "I don't want you to."  
  
I sighed. "I don't have a choice. I'm not immortal like you are."  
  
"Can..can't you just use your magic?" He curled up against me, and I saw that amidst the quiet, icy strength, there was a vulnerability.. In a way, I was Yue's Achilles Heel. So I held him while he cried, comforting him like I wouldn't be able to once I died. It would be up to Keroberos and their new master, or mistress, I suppose, after I was out of the picture. We didn't make love that night, but Yue let me hold him while he fell asleep, and that was good enough for me.   
  
My entire life, I hadn't bothered with love, and it seemed strange that I would find it in one of my own creations.. maybe I had both succeeded and failed with Yue, as much of a paradox that seems to be. I succeeded in making myself a strong, beautiful guardian who would judge the new owner of the cards.. yet, I had failed in making him emotionless, and I had in a way, taken away some of my own strength by falling in love with him.   
  
Life was such a riddle sometimes. 


	12. 12 - Clow Reed's Monologue

I saw more of the doctor than I really wanted to in the next few years.. and he always came bearing strange new medicines that would help in slowing down my deteoriating health.. but none of them seemed to work. I had seen my death in the magic of the cards, and was going to lie back and let it happen. Until then, however, I wanted to spend as much time with Yue and Keroberos as possible.   
  
After all, I was nearing my sixtieth birthday, and in retrospect, I had lived a good life. My childhood was comfortable financially, I loved my family.. I had used my power to create the cards, which would be my legacy.. I created two wonderful guardians, who still looked young and powerful as they ever had. Sometimes, the fierceness of Yue's loyalty scared me, though. He was determined to stay by my side until my final breath, and all I could do was let him.  
  
"Yue.. you don't have to stay with an old man.. Go on now."  
  
"No!" He clung tighter to me then, and he was shaking. Yue had been crying more now, and each teardrop was like a needle prickling my skin. He and I hadn't made love in years; I was much too weak, but at times, a simple kiss could say more than a night of passionate lovemaking. "I'm staying with you, damnit."  
  
I was taken aback by the firey look in his eyes, and nodded faintly, lying back on the bed and tangling my fingers in his soft hair. I never did have any children..but then, with Yue and Keroberos, I had all the companionship I would ever want. All I could hope was that their future mistress would take as good care of them as I did.  
  
Keroberos seemed more reserved about the issue of my death than Yue did. He would sometimes look at me silently and then sit down by me in the chair without a word. Keroberos was more like an old friend than anything, but I would miss them both dearly.   
  
In the last month of my life, I stayed in bed mostly. Yue brought me my meals and then sat on the bed with me. He was looking paler than usual, and sometimes I had to wonder which one of us was dying. His eyes were red and puffy, and there were dark circles under his beautiful eyes. Even his wings seemed like they were broken. He was acting like a puppet whose strings had been cut, and walked around listlessly. There was a nagging feeling of guilt that was eating me alive, and I couldn't help but think that Yue's depression was partially or completely my fault. Perhaps if I hadn't given into my desire for the angel, he would not have gotten so involved.. but then it is difficult to tell with these things sometimes. I may have been a fortune-teller, but there were some things even I could not predict.  
  
On the day you die, there is so much that your heart, soul, and mind wish to accomplish, but my body was too weak to do very much of it. I set the spell that would seal away Yue and Keroberos into the book until it was reopened and sat silently with Yue under the sakura tree for a while, lying in his arms.. It was strange, when I realized it. When he was young and weak, he would curl into my embrace seeking shelter.. now, when I was old and weak, I was resting hin his arms seeking solace from my life. "Darling.." I whispered. "It's time."  
  
"No..."  
  
"You've known for a long time that I was going to die, Yue." I smiled faintly. Gods, even when he was thirty-five years old by human standards, he would be eternally radiant for centuries to come... and I wondered how many others would fall into his spell over the years.. My hand weakly squeezed his slender fingers. "I will miss you."  
  
"I..I'll miss you too, Clow-sama..Don't die.. please."  
  
"It's my time."  
  
"I..I don't want to love anyone again..I...c..can't." He said softly, and I shook my head.  
  
"You will.." I sat up slowly and kissed his lips. Keroberos padded up to us gently and nuzzled his head under my hand. Weakly, I scratched behind his ears. "I'll miss you too, Keroberos.. I trust you to find someone worthy of the cards."  
  
"Yes, master." He bowed lightly and curled up against me. Yue began to cry softly, and when I looked, I saw tears snaking their way through Keroberos' golden fur as well.   
  
"You two.. I'll miss you both so much.. you have been wonderful to me...." I took one last look at them, and my mind wandered to an old play I read...Romeo and Juliet. I looked at Yue and whispered to him as I felt the energy slowly leaving my body. "Eyes, look your last..Arms, take your last embrace.. And lips, o you the doors of breath..seal with a righteous kiss..a dateless bargain to engrossing death....here's to my love.." I leaned up and kissed him firmly on the lips. He clung to me frantically, whispering back...  
  
"No.. Clow..."  
  
"Thus.. with a kiss.." I was barely able to get the words out...I could hear him sobbing brokenly now and wanted nothing more to comfort him..but it wasn't my choice."I die.." And there, my story ends.. 


	13. 13

Yue continued to sob, clinging desperately to Clow Reed's body as if mere tears could bring him back to life. "No! Clow!" He shook violently, raindrops falling to hit his skin.. Clow would've commented that it was pathetic fallacy.. but Clow wasn't here anymore..He felt like part of him was missing, and it was true both in the poetic and realistic sense.. Clow was his creator and master, not just his lover.. What was he supposed to do? He didn't want a new master..not after he and Clow had been together so long.. how could he replace that?  
  
Keroberos lowered his head, resting it against Clow's cool hand. He too was sobbing quietly, although not as heartwrenchingly as Yue was. It was the last time they would see Clow.. He knew that they had two days before the spell would take effect.. Clow had told him. He had also told Keroberos to take good care of Yue.. and as Keroberos looked at the devastated angel, he knew what he had to do. He gently took Yue's robes between his teeth and started to pull him away. "Come on, Yue."  
  
"No! I'm staying with him."  
  
"He's dead, Yue..we can't bring him back."  
  
"Damnit, Keroberos! Leave me be!" He yanked his arm back and sat down rather suddenly, pulling Clow's lifeless body into his arms, smoothing the grey hair gently. "You were always complaining that..it was in your face. Now you won't have to worry about it.." He barely got the words past his lips before he began to cry again, feeling completely helpless.. did love always hurt this much? If it did..then he wouldn't ever love anyone..ever again. Keroberos sighed, his eyes showing great pain.  
  
"I can't.. I promised him I'd take care of you.. please, Yue.. he wouldn't want you to suffer."  
  
Yue whimpered, looking again to Clow, hoping against hope that he was just sleeping..wasn't dead..and soon, he'd open his eyes and smile and whisper 'I love you, watashi no tenshi'..but his hope was shattered when he ran his fingers along Clow's chest.. and the heartbeat he was searching for.. was gone. He gently lay Clow under the Sakura tree and shot an ice shard at the ground, displacing a small pile of Earth. Keroberos blinked and watched him for a few minutes, then realized what Yue was doing. He began to follow suit, digging at the ground with his large tawny paws, until finally it was deep enough. Yue froze the ground completely and gently picked Clow up, cradling his lost love in his arms.   
  
"Clow.. I love you.. and..I always will.. no one will ever take your place, master.. I promise.." Tears rolled helplessly down his pale cheeks as he lay Clow in the icy coffin, sealing it, replacing the dirt around it.. He felt like he was going to collapse, but he took the small book of cards and took one out. A beautiful woman with curly hair appeared, watching Yue carefully. He nodded, and she frowned. A small pile of flowers appeared at the foot of Clow's grave, and Yue gave her a weak smile. She disappeared back into the deck. Listlessly, Yue followed Keroberos back into the mansion, but instead of going into his room, he collapsed onto Clow's bed, burying his face in the pillow and curling the blanket around his slender body, shaking. He could still smell Clow's faint gingery cologne on the pillow, and breathed in the scent, unable to stop the tears from falling.   
  
Keroberos shook the rainwater from his fur and slowly nudged Clow's bedroom door open with his nose, walking inside, listening to Yue's agonized sobbing. His shoulders slumped, and silently, he crouched down before jumping onto the bed, sitting down, resting his head on his paws. "Yue, I'm sorry.. I.. I know how much you loved Clow." There was no response, and Keroberos scooted closer to Yue, resting against him to offer what comfort that he could.. They fell asleep on Clow's bed, and they were never to awaken in that house again.. but in a little house in Tomoeda, Japan...  
  
  
*  
  
Sakura would be a good mistress to Keroberos and I, as much as I hated to admit it.. and I could see a bit of Clow in her. She would be the one to get the cards under her control. Keroberos was already smitten with her.. I, however, would take more convincing than that old fool. Part of me still missed Clow, and I assume that I would no matter how long my life was. Things changed, though, when the boy named Eriol arrived in Japan. I fought and screamed inside Yukito's body, but no one could hear me..   
  
That smile, those eyes.. it was Clow, I knew it! But it was only a child.. why on Earth would he choose such a form.. did he want to mislead me so that I wouldn't bother him? The yearning inside me grew even worse when Yukito fell in love with Kinomoto Touya..  
  
But Eriol, as he told me, was only Clow's reincarnate.. he wasn't Clow.. He'd smiled at me with more wisdom than his years held.. and told me that Clow loved me greatly.. for most of the memories that Eriol had inherited were of me..I stayed dormant inside Yukito for a long time after Eriol left.. it was like my last link to Clow had been shattered.. And staying alone while Yukito was with Touya was merely practice..after all, if I was going to be alone forever, I should get used to the feeling..  
  
What I didn't know was that forever was only eight more years..  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's notes: *blows nose and tosses away the now-empty kleenex box* Oi. By the way, pathetic fallacy is when nature reflects human emotion in literature..ie: person crying and it's raining out. The story has one more chapter, and hopefully I won't start bawling like a baby through it.  
-BM 


	14. 14 Finale

I couldn't help but feel depressed. This day of the year was always difficult for me to deal with; more so than the other three hundred and sixty-four. It was the anniversary of the day that Clow died. Keroberos said that it was difficult for him as well, but I think he was merely humoring me. He was happy with our new mistress.. and I have a nagging suspicion that it's because she gives him so many sweets.  
  
However, tonight was not like every other anniversary I had silently suffered through. This time, I could feel him.. and it was stronger than Kinomoto Fujitaka's presence.. It felt like Clow Reed was nearby. ".. 'niisan.. Can you feel it?" I asked softly, looking over. Keroberos and I often spent the anniversaries up on the Kinomoto's roof, looking up at the moon. He looked back towards me and cocked his head for a moment.  
  
"He's close by, Yue. I think Sakura mentioned something about Eriol returning from England."  
  
". Oh."  
  
So much for that tiny glimmer of hope. Eriol had long since explained to me that he was not Clow Reed, but merely a reincarnate, and I had given up on him regaining all of the memories of my dead lover.. Fujitaka was a lost cause completely. The man didn't know of his hidden powers at all.. and perhaps it was better that way. Keroberos must've seen the sadness on my face, because he grinned and stretched up, licking my cheek.  
  
I yelped, nearly falling off the roof in surprise. "Ack! What was that for?"  
  
"Cheer up, Yue."  
  
". What?" I stared at him as if he was completely daft. And.. let's be honest here, it was a distinct possibility. We'd both been around a long time, and our clashing personalities would be enough to drive anyone mad.  
  
"Go see Eriol.. "  
  
"There's no point."  
  
Before I could say anything further, I found myself pinned to the roof, choking on orange fur. "Whaddya mean, there's no point?!" Keroberos' Osaka accent began showing through his usually serious tone, and I couldn't help but smile a -little-.  
  
"He doesn't remember."  
  
"It's been what.. seven years?"  
  
"Eight." I corrected softly, closing my eyes. Keroberos shook his head and let me up.  
  
"Then go see the brother, why don'tcha?" "He wants Yukito. Not me. "  
  
Keroberos sighed and shook his head again. "You're a lost cause, Yue.. Good night. " He nuzzled me on the cheek lightly and went into Sakura's bedroom, and in a moment, I could hear his faint snoring. I sighed, turning my gaze up to the moon, and a sad smile crossed my features. Clow had named me after the moon.. I couldn't help but wonder how many nights he spent like this; staring up at it; gazing at its beauty.  
  
I decided to take Keroberos' advice and go to see Eriol.. It was better than nothing. Better than being alone as I had been. I flew to his home - it was late, no one saw me.. The last thing I needed was to be in one of those supermarket papers. When I got there, what was left of my heart almost shattered as soon as I saw him. He was sitting in the big chair in front of the fireplace.. and looked exactly like Clow.  
  
"Welcome back, Yue." He said softly, without looking up. I was well aware of the tears rolling down my cheeks, and could barely resist the urge to run and hug him. 'This was not Clow.', I kept telling myself over and over.  
  
"I.. I'm sorry. I just.."  
  
"You felt Clow's presence."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Well.. I suppose you should. I have, in all essence, become him."  
  
". what?" Oh lord. Maybe -he'd- gone daft too. Maybe I had. They should lock us all away in a padded room. I'm sure that as long as there was pudding, Keroberos would be thrilled.  
  
"I've had dreams lately.. I've regained most of his memories.. "  
  
I squeaked. ". Any of them with he and I?"  
  
He smirked and looked at me, glasses slipping down his nose. "Everything."  
  
. well. That was good to know.. Now I was torn between running away and flinging myself at him. I needed to say something; I know Clow hated awkward silences. "..Oh." Yes. That was perfect.  
  
"Yue.. come here." He extended his hand to me, and I stared at it for a moment before slowly walking to him, slipping my hand into his. His skin felt so warm against mine.. Before I could pull away, Eriol had pulled me down and kissed me. I felt an uncharacteristic 'Wai!' coming on, and thankfully, I managed to repress it. I didn't even know I was shaking like a leaf until Eriol commented on it.  
  
"A.. Are you really him?"  
  
"Yue.. " He smiled faintly.  
  
"Say it, damnit."  
  
"Come here, my angel.."  
  
As soon as he said that, I melted into his lap.. My fingers curled themselves around the fabric of his robes, my face found his shoulder, and I finally cried.. I hadn't cried since Clow died, and now that I had found him again, all of it was washing back. His fingers tangled in my hair, and he held me tightly.  
  
I think I heard the door open, and Eriol's whisper to come back later, but I didn't look up. "Clow.." I whimpered, clinging tightly to him. Eriol didn't correct me; he merely smiled and rocked me back and forth, as one would do a crying child.. and that's what I felt like. but ask me if I cared. I had him back. "I love you.."  
  
  
  
*  
  
Shh.. Rest, my angel. Things will be better for you; I promise.. I will be here, and we will be as we were before.. pretty little angel.. I came back just for you, you know. You were my greatest creation.. my greatest weakness, and my greatest love. It was more wonderful than the memories had suggested.. I could certainly see how Clow .. how -I-? Oh well.. how -we- became so infatuated with him. "Ai shiteru, watashi no tenshi.. Sleep."  
  
Yes, Yue. Sleep. Everything will be different in the morning. If you wish, you may share my bed tonight.. I wish to hold you again. Just rest.. I promise I won't leave. I smiled as I felt his body relax against mine.. He'd cried himself to sleep in my arms.. I pressed my lips against his forehead. He smiled in his sleep and snuggled close.. Well done, Clow.. Well done indeed.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's Notes: Okay, I didn't cry during -this- chapter, just in the last two -_-; Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed it, and I'm sorry it took so damn long to write. Ja ne!  
  
-BM 


End file.
